Ducks and Springtime on Campus

This is my current view on dating..........

Everything SEEMS nice. You meet, get to know each other then.....

Bam out of no where, the Girl runs away

Ok, Maybe it's not THAT extreme. But that's how it feels sometimes. I only bring this post up because it's Spring time!! Finally!! And all the signs are out. It's intriguing to watch people as you're walking along on campus, noticing couples sprawled out on the grass together, or groups of boys or girls laughing and drinking Jambas.

I had to study for my class and had an hour to spare; the Ducks are what I observed. The boy duck would calmly walk around and kinda follow the girl. Sometimes the girl would hide in the bushes, then when the boy duck wasn't watching, run away really fast. But the boy would casually walk around and follow her. The only duck making ANY sound was the girl duck. And the sounds......weren't pleasant.

As you can see, and hear, in the video, the Girl duck wasn't too thrilled. But that's nature, and that's life. Guys can chase girls, but only one will not squawk back at them. Maybe i'll find my Girl duck someday......Maybe I'll she'll squawk at me, maybe not. Hopefully I can be as calm and casual ast the Mallard in the video :)

My ThEoRy

This is My Theory on Dating, well not really on dating, but more on girls and guys. Today, not 30 years ago. I haven't met many people that disagree with me because there is truth in this.

The Way Things Are

Men: Simple.

Women:Complicated.

Simple Explanation: Many times girls will say "MAN GUYS ARE SO COMPLICATED!!!" but the reality, is that we are not. We ARE simple, but a girl's mind thinks so differently and so much more complicatedly, that they can't grasp how simple we must be, so we MUST be complicated. They're complicatedness, MAKES us SEEM complicated, when we're really simple.

Complicated Explanation:There is none. It needs none. Simple as that. (see?)

Ok there might be some biased conjecture seeing that I'm a guy, but just really think about relationships....and the issues people have. It really boils down to miscommunication. I had a recent relationship, which ended in us being just friends, where the whole thing was based on an open and honest communication-ship. It just makes sense: SAY the things you want to say. Don't HIDE things, be yourself. Instead of Analyzing, JUST ASK. I know it SOUNDS hard, but really....It's harder on the person to guess and freak out about things than it is to just talk. Communicate.

I don't feel my theory really needs any further explanation. I just do know that in today's day and age, Dating has become something people loath instead of enjoy. I haven't been actively dating lately, and I know I need too. My Mom made a good point yesterday; I can have fun with my roommates and I will miss that in the future, but a forever roommate and companion will be even more fun and kinda the next step in life. I just wish I could make it happen. Maybe I should try my Dad's approach: Find a Girl I like, go out a few times, then say "I think we should continue this relationship." (My Dad said that word for word. Yeah we make fun of him pretty much all the time for it.) Hey, It worked.

So you're telling me there's a chance.....

Do i really have time to be doing this right now? NO. Not really. But i'm doing it anyway cuz...well i need to.....

A. It's been way too long
B. I'm super stressed and I think this might take some of it away from me right now.
C. I've gone through a lot of things lately....that could use some sharing.

For the first real time in my life, I had my heart broken. It didn't make sense at all, but I am making more of it now. I've learned a lot about myself and who I am and what i want from a relationship. I hope to remain friends with her forever, because that's the kind of friendship we had. I know it wasn't easy for her either. Sometimes I still kind of question things, but it's all for something right? Besides that, I am dating someone again and it's going well, and I'm pretty happy about it to be completely honest. I fought it for a long time, and I think I felt like it wasn't going to happen because the time had passed. But, of course it's not always my plan or my way...in fact I'm thankful for that. If it were always up to me, I don't know where I would be.

School....OK. I don't know if I have even posted about me actually being excited about school....ever. Well I finally am. I have been taking a Life Planning and Decision making class, and through that and through one of those Strong Interest Inventory tests...you know the ones that ask you a bazillion questions about "Do you like This: (thing) or This: (other thing) Better?" Anyway, after taking that test, it came down and gave me some possible careers to look into. One such, Speech Pathology...which i had thought of before...was one of them. So i looked into it, and went and changed my major and i have my next 4 semesters setup. If everything goes according to plan i should be done in 4 1/2 semesters....I'll take a spring term or something....The only crappy part is the fact that I have to get my masters, so it'll be awhile still. But having an end in sight, and knowing what I'm actually going into makes life a TEENSY bit stressful.

I love music. I know this is nothing new, and I write about it all time. I discovered Aiden. They are kind of rocky/poppy/sorta unique band. I'm listening to them now. They almost remind me somewhat of AFI. ANYWAY, that's not my musical point in this post. I have been taking a Piano class this whole semester. It's been really awesome. You know how when you were a kid, and your parents forced you to take piano lessons? And you absolutely HATED it? Well, I had lessons when i was a young lad about 12 or 13 or so...maybe younger....and I was taking them from my Aunt. Well this particular Aunt had to move to Vegas, so once she moved I really couldn't take from her any longer....although i guess i could have, but those would have been expensive lessons. My other Aunt, actually probably my favorite on my Dad's side...there's only one...hahaha....started teaching us (Us being my sister, Dad, and myself) Now, why she stopped teaching us....I don't think I'll ever know. I just remember wanting to still play, (at least i think i did...i don't remember ever complaining about it) and then we stopped. So I have some very basic formal training, but really not enough to read music and what not. This class has helped me a lot. I am to the point now, where if I sit down and work on a song, I could most likely learn it in an hour or so. Ok maybe not that short of time, but I can do it now where as before I could barely read just the right hand. I love messing around and just having fun, and considering one of the string broke on my guitar recently and I'm too lazy to go buy new ones, I'm forced to play the piano instead.

Well I don't know how much stress this relieved, It kind of took my mind off some things, which is good I guess. I just need to get past the next week and a half, and I'll be good...until next semester starts at least.

Bye!

This is my Take

Well People...it seems things didn't work out with Allison. I know some of my previous posts may have alluded to me saying she really was the chosen one, but let me give my philosophy on this. Is there really a soul mate for everyone? I don't believe so. Even an Apostle, i can't remember who, said that any two members of the church that uphold the standards and morals, could work well together and be a happy eternal couple/family. Now of course by no means am i saying that ANYONE would be perfect for me...since there are personalities that clash, and some things just can't be worked out. As far as Allison goes, here's my take.

I met Allison during a time in my life when i was really kind of starting to feel like nothing good would come to me. She came to me, and it was amazing. Every moment i spent with her, was just amazing and i didn't have any worries in the world. Of course most people would say "you're crazy for letting her go," but as happy as i was, i just didn't feel like it was going to be a permanent thing. I don't know why. I can't explain it. And to this day, i cannot for the life of me begin to understand why things have worked out the way they did. I heard a quote, or something, that talked about how people come into your lives during a "season" for different reasons. (no rhyme intended) Do i truly believe that it was meant to be for us to meet. Yes. Absolutely. I learned many many things from Allison. One of them: The feeling of truly being loved, and to feel a love for someone "unico" (only...solely...). I know that in the future, I will be able to tell the difference between a "crush" and love, whereas I wouldn't have been able to before. Another thing, and although this is more on the physical side, I finally got my first kiss. AND for the record, it WAS amazing, and i DO NOT regret kissing her one bit. I was fortunate enough to be one of the lucky few people in this world who didn't have a "Wasted first kiss." I truly felt it meant something. It did mean something. She is an amazing kisser, and i truly do envy the guy that ends up with her. One other thing i really really learned was more of many things...i just learned what i want in my future wife. I know the qualities i will look for, and the qualities i need to have in my life. I know what i deserve now. I deserve someone like Allison. Someone that will love me unconditionally for who i am and what i stand for. Someone that loves our Heavenly Father as much as i do.

So my question to myself, and to any of you out there reading this: Why not Allison? You didn't give it enough time! Well sometimes time is just not needed to know. We could date for 2 years and i could feel the same way the whole time, and it would have been 2 years when either one of us could have found our future spouse. Like i said, i cannot answer this question. From the first time i had this "Doubt" i have not understood it at all. It doesn't make sense. But i do know how i feel, and how i've felt, and what i need in my life currently. I do not want to lose her of course, but it seems it was the best option for me, for us, to move on with our lives. I've never really "abandoned" someone before that i have liked, or had a thing with, or dated. I've normally stayed friends with them...well until now. And i'm hoping to do the same with her. I think we may need some time apart and such to get over it, but i know we can be good friends, even though it is not something she is used to. :)

Will i find someone exactly like her? I hope not, since no two people are exactly alike. Will i find someone who will hate to say good bye to me at 3 am? Maybe not. Will i find someone who can and will love me like she does/has? I sure hope so. I am sad, but i am happy too because i know things will work out for the best for both of us. She is an amazing person, and deserves someone amazing and will get it in her life. People come into our lives for a season, for a time, for a reason. For what that is, only we can know. I know why she came into my life, and no one can take that away from me. I will always cherish and hold close the experiences i shared with her.

So now that this stage of my life is over, for now, i'm not sure what will happen. Of course i will go on dating other girls. But i think now, i might have more confidence where as i may not have had much before. Yet another reason. Thanks to all of you who have cared, and shown interest in my well being. I find that more people read, or at least hear about my blog, than i may have previously thought. THANKS! And again, i'm just trying to go about my life and be good at it. Doing the best i can. Doing the best i know how!

Is it worth it?

Is it worth it? That's my question. Honestly i really don't know if it is. I realize the majority of my posts probably have had some mention about the dating life, and just really how annoying it is. You know what, it's the truth. It's annoying and i really do not like it sometimes. I'm tired of being the nice guy. Green day really did say it how it is:

Nice guys finish lastYou're running out of gas
Your sympathy will get you left behind
Sometimes you're at your best
When you feel the worst
Do you feel washed up like piss going down the drain

Pressure cooker pick my brain and tell me I'm insane
I'm so fu*#@$* happy I could cry
Every joke can have it's truth but now the joke's on you
I never knew you're such a funny guy

Oh nice guys finish last
When you are the outcast
Don't pat yourself on the back
You might break your spine
Living on command
You're shaking lots of hands
You're kissing up and bleeding all your trust
Taking what you need
Bite the hand that feeds
You lose your memory and you got no shame

I know that it never hurts to be a nice guy, and of course it's best to treat girls with utmost respect and kindness, but seriously i've gotten to the point i just feel like it's not worth it. I have some really good friends, which is great i know. Don't get me wrong, i like having friends, however there comes a point....when friends just doesn't cut it anymore. Especially when you lose friends when friends get a boyfriend or whatever, and you're left hanging in the air alone. I don't mind being a nice guy, it's what i'm known for. But you know, it just seems like it's not getting me anywhere. I don't want friends anymore. I mean, JUST friends only, always. Friends are good to have, and i know really to find a "companion" i need to be friends first with people. My problem is, it always ends up being JUST friends and i'm sick of it. I see guys that are not nice; guys that are jerks; guys that treat girls like crap; guys that are just retarded....somehow all manage to get the girl. Maybe i should stop being so nice and just start not caring about how girls feel, and stop playing games. I really don't think i could do that. It's not in my nature. I'm just to caring and nice, but i'm seriously considering dejando de ser el heroe y amigo de todos.

On a better note, last night was amazing! I went and saw Story Of The Year at the "Rock in UVU" concert that X96 put on. It was a free concert, if you could win tickets off the radio. But you could also buy them at the venue for 9.63 (96.3 fm). I had my buddy Pace pick up a ticket for me, Steve, Aubrey, and Tyson. We got there a little late, but it was still just one of the opening bands. The Brobecks...they were ok...not amazing. The thing that dissapointed me the most, was the fact that Story of the Year didn't play last. I guess the "Highlight" of the show was supposed to be "The Bravery". Don't get me wrong, they were pretty cool...just to follow suite after Story of the Year, is basically impossible. Had The Bravery gone first, i think i would have enjoyed them much more. Story of the Year was basically and utmost amazing. They put on a wicked awesome show. Throwing their guitars around their necks, throwing guitars across the stage, doing back flips off the stage, freaking standing on the crowd (the singer) while singing....they were pretty freaking insane. One of the best shows i've been to....the only show i've been to in freaking so long. I NEEDED to go to a show. It wasn't just a want anymore, but a physical need. It just relieves me of so much stress and i can think about stuff at concerts. Call me weird.

Anyway. Story of the Year: Living life and being good at it. A prime example.