A LIST

In a tumultuous world full of uncertainty, with good and bad things happening around us, I think it's important to take a second and truly think about all that is going well in our/my life. I know a lot of my posts are negative, and just me complaining, but I've really tried to be positive lately and think about the good things rather than the bad or unhappy. I've decided to make this post (well the remaining part) into a list of those things I am most happy, thankful, and/or appreciative of. This list will be in no specific, I just have a lot of things in my mind and I want to get them written down.

I am Thankful:

    For my parents, my family, Love, Peace, kind hearts, the Gospel, a loving Heavenly Father, my savior Jesus Christ, the scriptures, the Temple, knowledge and the ability to learn, the opportunity to go to school, a good job, my cell phone, my computer, my guitar, music period, inspiration, posts from people on Facebook letting me know they care, messages and/or emails from a lost friend telling me they've missed me, being missed, being loved, having good health, having doctors and hospitals ready to take care of me when I'm sick, the opportunity to serve those that are sick and afflicted, a good country and government who is trying to do what they think is the best for us, the fact that no one is perfect and no one can be or ever will, the ability to be perfected in Christ, knowing he is there no matter what, acceptance, humility, feelings of greatness, warm fuzzies, talks about life with friends who listen, Thai food, Wendy's JBC's, Frosty's, Cheesecake, Dad's Bennihannas, Green Shakes, all my roommates being back, the Summer, the beauty of the Winter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, the goodness of people, Samantha Jordan and her understanding of what I need from her, my car, my iPod, new tires, birthdays, celebrations, family parties, weddings, cousins, grandmothers, grandfathers, Fridays, weekends, sleeping in, Sleep, my bed, blankets, the houses I live in, security, comfort, The Goonies, blogging, journals, emotions, the Human Body, free stuff, having money to buy things I need, Ozzy being on a mission, Brent being amazing and an inspiration and example to so many, Camille teaching 1^st graders how to Live life and be good at it, the example my parents have given me, Good Bishops, close friends, confidence, trust, carpet, couches, pianos, trees, flowers, Tiki, the mountains, rivers, the Ocean, scuba diving, Bolivia, the mission I served, the people I helped, and the world going on around me and me being able to take part in it.

I couldn't live without:

    My family, especially my Mom and Dad who listen to me and still support me; good roommates, who make living in Provo bearable and fun; technology, giving me the ability to write this and share it with the world, giving me the chance to watch my favorite TV shows without having to watch them ON TV; TV shows, that make me happy and give me a moment to relax from the real life and be fully immersed in a different world.

I don't know where I'd be without:

    Anything mentioned above. My parents and what they've done for me. Good friends and the ability to be a good friend. Technology, more specifically the internet, cell phones and cars. The guidance I receive from the temple, and from the Lord. The scriptures and all they can and do teach us.

There really isn't any reason to not be thankful. My list could go on and on, and I think I might make a more specific list and talk about why and how those things have affected me, but for now this will do.

Positive thinking, That's all it takes.....Right?

So there I was, sitting in church yesterday when a thought came to me. This thought was nothing unusual, and probably something really obvious to most people; the thought was "Be Positive and Happy."

When I was first starting out on my mission, I had a companion Elder Baadsgaard (yes, that really is his last name, and sounds just like you would guess). He was a good kid, and ended up being an assistant later on during our service. We were only companions in the MTC, but he really helped me change a lot and it was through this same idea. He helped me to always see the positive and happy side to things, rather than the negative and unhappy. Again, this is a very obvious solution to some of life's biggest problems, and although it doesn't ACTUALLY solve anything, I truly believe it can be a great influence on anyone's life.

Skip Warner is a guy in my current ward, BYU 206th, BYU 21st Stake (this is just so i can remember, plus I want to start actually remembering people for when I go back and read this 20 years from now). I've NEVER seen him in a bad mood, sad, or down, or just being alone. Of course I've really only seen him in social/church settings, but even in those people sometimes aren't in a good mood or make it apparent they don't want to be there. To me, he is an amazing example of one who is truly trying to (how about that alliteration) follow the Savior. He often gives his testimony on fast Sunday, and did yesterday, which is where this post is stemming from. I didn't realize it at the time, but as I sat in my room last night planning out my busy week, this realization came to me; be positive and happy about my life and the things going on currently. There's just no valid excuse or reason to NOT be happy. He talked about school, and how so many people complain that school sucks and it's hard and annoying, and etc. He said something along the lines of "I enjoyed school while I was in it, sure it was hard, but I had fun. I don't know why anyone else can't do the same." It really is....baffling why I let school get the best of me. It's just school, not like it's going to affect my future at all....ok maybe that's the ONLY purpose. Nevertheless, I'm trying things different this week; I planned my week out, with the things I will do during the day, and am having 3 different people, maybe 4, monitor what I'm doing during the week and checking up on me sporadically, just to make sure I'm on top of things. This may seem somewhat "high school ish" and like i can't be independent, but I really think it will help keep me motivated. It also makes me wonder about the future. There are stats out there, I don't know of any real ones or anything confirmed, that once a person gets married, generally their grades go up. I think it might because of this reason.....they have someone who can be vigilant of their progress, and help them get things done.

I don't love my job, more specifically what I'm required to do everyday; answer phone calls from people in various countries. It's nothing glorious, it's monotonous and tedious, but it pays the bills. The few bills I have. There's just no reason for me to essentially not be happy about being at work. My job REALLY isn't that bad, I make pretty good money to answer the phone all day, the company is amazing, I have a lot of friends here, and with such a high unemployment rate, I HAVE A JOB. I'm blessed, and there's no reason for me not to be positive about that. Plus, I'm only here at work for....5 hours or less a day, not really a sacrifice at all. I just need to learn to organize my time better, and be more productive, efficient, and effective with my time.

Along with this new positive line of thinking, I'm going to start implementing the "Yes" theory. The movie "Yes Man" really has many implications of how much fuller and exciting a persons life could be if they started to say yes to things where they would normally say no. I'm not going to say yes to Persian Wife Finder, but a Yes to a party or a Yes to writing a Paper for no reason other than doing it (BYU has regular writing competitions), would really change my life in so many ways. It would make life feel more productive, more meaningful, and more exciting. Too many times I've found myself sitting at home on a weekend doing nothing more than staring at the wall, or my computer screen. Along those same lines, even IF I am in a home alone situation, hopefully with all these new things, that time would be used more effectively as well.

Along with these new things, I've decided to not be intimated by girls. No one really has any VALID reason to be intimidated; we're all human, we're all imperfect, no one is actually better than anyone or deserves anything less than the best. There's a girl in one of my classes who I've been wanting to ask out essentially from the first day of class. However, because of her obvious intelligence, she scares me more than anyone I've ever wanted to ask out. She's in a pretty intense major, and at BYU where everything is intense ANYWAY, It's not like it's any surprise that she's smart. Plus, being a girl in a heavily male populated major, in an already competitive field, she has to be even more of a genius to fit in. Yesterday in church I attended a "Dating and Relationships" class they have every once in a while. The teachers were the second counselor and his wife, whom have been married probably just over a year. This was the last week of a 4 week session, so they had everyone write down questions they had for them and for the class in general. I asked the question "How do I ask a girl out that intimidates me?" The answer they gave was basically what i wrote above in Bold. There's just no reason to be intimidated. What's the worst that's going to happen; she only has two options: Decline or Accept. Either way, life will move on and that's just how it goes. Jamund (teacher, wife is Carrie....Ferguson) made a good point too: what if everyone else thinks the same thing about her, and she never gets asked out because of this "Intimidation factor?" Break the chain, break the ice, break the cycle. Be different and confident, and things will work out for you.

I guess this post has turned into making some new goals for my life, and even though they aren't specific and don't have time frames, they really are things that I'm going to change which in turn will change who I am. I don't not like who I am currently, I just think there's so much more Jefe for the world to know and discover, and for myself to discover, It's unfair I've been this pent up for so long. Having these goals, these changes, is really making me excited and gives me something to look for. I'm really interested in other ways i can improve my life, to be better at it, and to better the lives of others around me. Isn't that one of our main objectives here on Earth? To progress and better ourselves and those around us? Seems simple enough, so why don't I or other people do it constantly? I guess that's part of figuring out who we are and what we stand for. I'm 25 and just barely starting to figure it out.

My 24th year of living, "Things Sure were different 25 years ago"

I'm 25. I seriously can't believe it; I really don't feel that much older. I suppose from October 3rd to October 4th, I'm still only a day older; but it feels like oh so much more.

I've been meaning to write, but couldn't think of anything I wanted to write. A review of my 24th year will be the best thing I think, for myself and for others.

School. I'm still in it, as much as I dislike the whole idea. I know it's necessary though and have finally decided to stick with a major. Communication Disorders, although a heavily female populated major, is what I have chosen to stick with. I started it last winter semester and even though I still didn't do that well in one of the core classes, I feel like it's where I should be at this time. I know I just need to get done with school, then move on to grad school, or whatever else life throws at me. I've already written about my classes this semester, so I won't go into depth with that. Currently I'm scheduled to graduate December of 2011, basically a year longer than I originally expected. The reasons for this vary, but the biggest is probably because i started the major so late. Byu thinks it's a good idea to offer certain classes only certain semesters, and to make you take classes in a certain order, and because of this I can only finish as fast as i can.

Mosiah 4:27 : "And see that all these things are done in wisdom and ^aorder; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order."

At least I have the end in "sight," it's closer than I think, I just wish it were closer. Of course after I finish my undergrad, Grad school will happen, but I've heard grad school is alot more chill than Undergrad. All in good time.

Work. I'm still at Nuskin, still working in the call center, still a peon. I've tried to obtain and applied to various jobs, but with no success to my avail. Of course when I didn't obtain a position, and after so long, and feeling that I more or less deserve it or am at least qualified, it's been hard to be motivated to stay here. Right now in the world I live in, its a good thing to have a job at all. I've also tried to look at the whole situation in a long run/positive way. Had I obtained the last position I applied for, I wouldn't have been able to take classes this semester, and it would take me even longer to finish school. So i'm grateful to have the job that I do, get paid the amount I do, and work for such a great company. I think there's more at work than myself with this one.

Dating and relationships. Since my birthday last year, 2008, when Camille broke up with me 3 days before, I have had 2 relationships: Chelsea Wrathall, and Kat Miller. Both of them were great relationships, and I learned a lot about myself, who I am, and what I want in a future eternal companion. Dating still isn't fun, well the drama that comes with dating at least; for this reason I haven't dated much lately, but have decided I need to get back on the bandwagon and get er done. I feel like my next step in life is to find a wife, and move on. I'm 25, and even by "worldly" standards, 25 is an old enough age to be serious about finding a wife. It's been on my mind a lot and I know it's important enough to be one of my top priorities. My Mom told me the other day she was reading my mission letters, and the the last one I wrote before leaving talked about me getting married within 2 years. I've been home almost 4 (January will mark that time frame), so its time I get on it. My cousin Sterling Davis was married last week, October 1, and he hasn't even been home from his mission a year yet. If he can do it that fast, why can't I right? I have a goal to be married BEFORE Austin gets home from his mission. So before or by June 3rd 2011.

Big or significant events. There hasn't been very many significant or big events in the last year that are extremely note worthy, but I can think of a few. I think the biggest thing was Austin leaving on a mission, June 3rd, 2009. Not that I ever doubted he would go, I just didn't know much he would get into it or what the feel would be. So far, 4 months down the road, I've been nothing but Impressed. It's so amazing the change I can see and feel from him, just from his letters. Before he left I spent a lot of time at home, and many weekends just to be around and support him as he was preparing to go. Even before he left, I saw him go through some pretty intense changes that most missionaries go through after having been out for some time.All I can say is that I'm extremely proud of who he is becoming and of the spirit and power that emanate from his letters. We write back and forth sometimes just between us, personal things, and advice for one or the other. I think he is learning to relate more to me than anyone else in the family since I'm a "recent" RM. It's been a great experience for him, the family and myself as well. Other than that, except for a few trips, nothing too exciting happened in the last year. Camille is still dating Brandon, who's a good guy, I just don't know what's going to happen with that one. Brent is a genius. He nailed a 32 on the ACT, WITHOUT STUDYING......seriously, how did the genes skip me? He's 16 now, driving, and starting to date. I feel old. My parents both turned 50 this year (2009), which makes me feel even weirder seeing how I'm exactly have their age, by number at least. As my Grandma would say, according to my Dad, "Things sure were different 25 years ago"

As I continue to live life and try to be good at it, I will make goals for the next year, goals which i will complete when they are within my power. I never really make goals, and maybe that's why my life is usually uneventful. More coming soon.