Question. What kind of Bear is Best?

Ok. I think have an official favorite scene from The Office. If any of you have seen it, you will know why it's so funny. Honestly the text just doesn't quite do it justice. I really don't know how to post a video on this thing, so i think i will just post a link....to watch it, go here.

Script:

Jim: [Dressed as Dwight] It's kind of blurry. [puts on his glasses] That's better. [exhales] Question. What kind of bear is best?

Dwight: That's a ridiculous question.

Jim: False. Black bear.

Dwight: Well that's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought---

Jim: Fact. Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

Dwight: Bears do not--- What is going on--- What are you doing?!

(Jim: Last week, I was in a drug store and I saw these glasses. Uh, four dollars. And it only cost me seven dollars to recreate the rest of the ensemble. And that's a grand total of... [Jim calculates the total on his calculator-watch] eleven dollars.)

Dwight: You know what? Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, so I thank you. [Jim places a bobble-head on his desk] Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!

Jim: ... MICHAEL!

Dwight: Oh, that's funny. MICHAEL!

Basically, the funniest thing in the world. I have been texting everyone i know lately the question from the title. Seriously, it's so random....but everyone that knows The Office well enough to know that's where i'm coming from, has responded correctly. It's great.

Now the officially reason i'm blogging. What IS the best kind of bear? Well, lets go into this deeper.

First we have the coolest bear ever. Created by Disney of course, i mean who else can take a bear and make it a famous yellow ball of fur?

Yep, Winnie the Pooh.

Look how cute he is. Laying on a cloud. I wish i could lay on a cloud. You know....I always wondered why he never wears any pants...then again no cartoon boy characters ever wear pants....would this be lack of a certain body part? We may never know...

Next in line:

Mr. Teddy Bear and family.

Although almost the same as Winnie the Pooh, they are easier to cuddle with and love. The positioning of these bears....well i'm just not sure about. Just don't let a small child get ahold of one, they might get the wrong idea, or they might decide it's funner to rip the eyes and stuffing out....ok maybe that was just me...but hey...what kid doesn't like violence?

Next is not my favorite kind of bear, but a pretty good one at that.

The Chicago Bears.

I don't know much about the NFL. All i can remember is horrible memories of 4th grade when my teacher Mr. Henning, who was obsessed with them, would talk about how they were the best team ever. Ironically, i remember them being just about the worst team in the NFL during the year i had the man as a teacher. It's kind of cool though how things work out....The Miami Dolphins who were a major dynasty during that time period...or later on...i'm not really sure. It would have been back in the 90's sometime, and you know what i just don't care enough to figure it out. Point is, the Bears went to the Superbowl a couple of years ago....and the Dolphins ended up winning only 1. Yes 1 game this past season. I like that though. Teams can turn around like nothing. Take the Boston Celtics (NBA). Worst team in the league last year. They made some awesome trades, and this year they are the best team in the league. They used to be a dynasty too, although i wasn't alive for that time period. Now if only the Jazz could win a championship.....

Next we have a quite neat bear. Say hello to:

Mr. Polar Bear

I think he might be sticking his tongue out because it's blue...i mean if i had a blue tongue, i'd probably be sticking it out a lot too....maybe....maybe his tongue is just infected from licking himself or from eating raw fish. I'm glad my tongue is not blue. Although maybe it should be seeing how i go to BYU....don't they say you bleed Blue? Maybe there is some truth to bleeding red....although your veins ARE blue....but your arteries are red, and arteries are much bigger and more high pressured than veins too. Maybe we'll never know the truth. I'll ask someone that knows for sure one day, and i will let you all know.

The Panda.

I was trying to think of what i could write about the Panda. I don't have any real information about them, other than they eat a lot of bamboo and every picture i've ever seen of them is them sitting on their butts. Maybe it's just the laziest bear there is? The other thing to consider is how they are both Black and White. I'm guessing there aren't any color racist pandas out there. I guess if you were a blue, or pink, or red panda you might get picked on or singled out. But other than that, i'm guessing pandas are pretty un-racist. They are pretty sweet. Not gunna lie.

Wait.....i just found out.....Red Panda?

So...apparently there is a red Panda Bear....but since it's black, white, AND red, it's still not racist....it might be. But probably even less so. I'll bet all the regular colored pandas pick on them. Poor Red Panda.

The Black Bear

Black Bear. Beets. Battlestar Galactica. Ok i really have no idea of Black Bears eat beets. Considering it's something coming from Dwight, i'm sure it's correct.....since it seems he knows pretty much any and every useless bit of information. But in all honesty, Black Bears are pretty dang awesome. Seriously look at this bear eating that plant. Man what a hard ace! No but for real, it's rumored that a black bear can be about 7 feet tall standing on its hind legs. If i saw that, i'd probably pee my pants and let the bear just eat me. If i survived, at least i'd have a cool story right?

The Grizzly

I really don't know the difference between a grizzly and a brown bear, if there is one, or even if there is a difference between a grizzly and a black bear. I just googled grizzly and this came up. Maybe if anyone has any real information about the kinds of bears and differences, it would be cool to know. I really could care less, but i want to have a pet bear some day. Maybe train it to play the guitar and sing to me, or even just let me use it as a pillow...although i'll bet the fur wouldn't be as amazing as you would think...

Dancing Bears....

Ok so maybe it's not a kind of bear, but hey they are dancing and that makes them their own class right? Or in Dwight's words....their own school of thought.....I want to dance with a bear.

The Koala

By far the most lovable. But you know, beneath the cute face, and huge puffy ears, i'm willing to bet Koalas can be kind of mean. Maybe i'm wrong. I don't know if i want one necessarily, i would prefer a Red Panda now that i think about it. But i would like to learn how to climb trees like they do. Climbing trees is cool.

Care Bears

I am currently at work. I was kind of running out of ideas of bears to write about, when i asked some people here at work and someone brought up the Care Bears. How could i forget about these lovable Disney characters? Who doesn't wish they had some kind of magical power that comes from your belly when you shout in unison "Care Bear Stare!!" You know, if i could have a power that came from my belly when i shouted "Jefe Stare!" I think it would be to turn whatever i am trying to defeat into a roll of toilet paper. Chances are, if i am trying to defeat something i'm not going to be into liking it...thus making it the one thing that no one would want to be....basically i think you get the idea.

Last, but DEFINITELY not least:

Yogi Bear

Again the bear is not wearing any pants, and there is no prominent evidence as to what sex Yogi is. Everyone assumes Yogi is a male, but without the pants on, and nothing to prove it otherwise, i'm keeping the options open. Sure he has a tie on, but i've seen plenty of people wearing ties that are not male. AKA Cami Clay's work uniform (little boy hehehe :) ), and for that matter, anyone that works at The Brick Oven. I'm sure there are numerous other jobs also where females are required to wear a tie. Get it together Yogi, put some pants on, or let us know what your identity is.

That's all the bears i care about writing for now. There are a million others i could write about. Gummi Bears, The downy bear, Chicago Cubs, etc. I just don't really care anymore and i think we've gotten the idea that really there isn't a best kind of Bear. Dwight would have us believe it is the Black Bear, but i would disagree. This is the best kind of Bear:

Walrus

Umm...ok...it's not a bear. But recently i've decided basically i have NO IDEA what someone was thinking when this creature was created. It's just a tub of lard with two huge tusks and famous for having the largest.....something....on planet earth. I'm not gunna lie....i'm pretty sure having those tusks just isn't comfortable. How are you supposed to kiss your girlfriend? Maybe there are just Male Walrus's....that procreate a-sexually....who knows. All i know is i'm glad i don't have one of those, cuz i'm sure it would smell like rotten fish 24/7.

I'm done. This is all. I hope you have enjoyed this entry as much as i really thoroughly enjoyed writing it. Go ahead and comment, or make fun of me, whatever you want to do. I just wanted you to know another option in living life and being good at it. Being a bear lover.

(FYI, my nickname in my family is bear. So i'm gunna have to go ahead and say i'm the best kind of bear there is. Hands down. And i know Cami's nickname is Bear too...so she can be almost as cool as me....if possible.)

*oh and if anyone knows why i can't make the stupid blog save some spacing changes i want to make to it, then let me know. It's kind of irritating.