Friday, June 13, 2008

A Tribute to a Wonderful Grandmother: Mary Elizabeth Sorenson Mabey Matern

Monday June 9, 2008 my Grandmother Mabey, as I've known her my whole life, passed away. It's bitter sweet though. For the past 15 or 16 years she has had to deal with health issues. She hasn't been able to eat food for 15 years, and has just fought through so much. 2 years ago she suffered a stroke, and her health just went downhill. All i know is she is better off now. I hope she got to eat something the minute she got to wherever it is she went.... i mean i know what the Church believes, and i know what i believe and know, but no one really knows how it is exactly you know? I really loved my Grandma. I did. It's weird how before someone dies, you don't realize how much you have loved them. I will truly miss her. I really don't have any pictures with her or anything, but i just pulled the one off of her obituary. She was an amazing woman. She knew how to follow the savior and taught us to do that as well. I will miss you Grandma.


After some consideration, i decided i need to write more about my Grandma. And since I'm at work, on a Saturday, and it's dead slow...thank goodness...I will do it now!

OK, so i think the best way to go about this would be to write about the things i remember most. The biggest thing i remember about my Grandma Mabey, was really how much i meant to her. I don't think i really understood how much she loved me, or any of us for that matter. She was always asking about us; "How's Jeffrey. How's Camille. How's Kevin. How's Kelly. How's Rebbecca. How's Renae...." etc. I know she always thought about us grand kids, and worried about us. The last time i saw here was on Mother's Day this year, which would have been May 11, 2008. I remember she came rolling in, in her wheelchair my uncle pushing her. I saw her, and actually was kind of excited. She got a smile on her face and said "how are you Jeffrey?" Come to think of it, she's really the only person that ever called me Jeffrey. My parents used to back in high school when i was a rebellious teenager, and they would yell at me by my full name...but those days are over :) I just remember giving her a hug and telling her how things were. I didn't talk to her much...now i wish i had. But i guess you live and learn right?

There were many times growing up, many experiences and funny situations my cousins and I found ourselves in with her. We all remember having sleep overs at Grandma's house, and one time specifically when we were up like at 2:00 am...not really a late late hour for me these days...but back then when you are a kid, and you were supposed to be asleep at like 10 or 11 because you were sleeping at Grandma's house, not usually a good thing. Anyway, so we were being rambunctious and we heard her bedroom door open, we were in the family room which was pretty far from her room thus giving us notice of her arrival. By the time she got there, we were all under our covers trying to hold back laughter. I'm sure she saw us, and probably knew we were faking it...but i don't remember if she said anything, or just left. I don't remember this experience exactly...but i do remember that it happened on more than one occasion.

Her favorite phrase was "when can i have an hour?" The funny thing, as my Dad mentioned at her funeral, was it was an hour...every time you talked to her. Another famous phrase was "special special." She thought we were all so special, and she really loved us a ton. Even though her life was kind of...crappy to say the least...and she was often not in a good mood, i know who she was underneath. She loved people. She was all about family. She was all about the important things. I was sad to see her go, but I know she is in a happier place with her sweetheart...whom I've never met, and cannot wait to meet one day. Supposedly she loved to dance and sing and i know she loved music. At her funeral, all the grand kids sang "I wonder when he comes again." It was pretty emotional for all of us, but we got through it and i know the spirit was strong.

I remember on my mission in Bolivia, i would get letters often from her. Many times containing a $5 bill which really isn't much...but in Bolivia it goes pretty far. I laughed a lot at the things she would write. See, letters took like 3 weeks to get to the mission. By the time i got the letter she had written, i already knew half of the things she wrote about just from my parents emails 2 weeks earlier. Or, things my family forgot to mention. For example: "It was so special going to Austins recital the other night. It's so neat he's taking voice lessons." (Oh and btw, all her letters were typewriter written...i don't think she ever touched a computer her entire life...) I was like..."what, Austin is taking voice lessons? That's cool...good thing my parents never tell me anything." It seems when one goes on a mission, the family forgets to include the small details of everyday life at home. That's life i guess. Anyway, my Grandma became famous in all my zones. All the missionaries would ask "como esta tu abuelita. Te mando dinero? Que me vas a comprar? jajaj broma" Basically, i didn't go a week without getting some kind of letter, whether it was from grandma, a friend, or my uncles Mission newsletter. I saved a ton of her letters. I don't know where they are currently, but i think i should find them and read through them. She always told me how much she loved me and how proud of me she was. She did make me feel special :)

Another childhood memory was McDonalds runs. Ok...not the runs you get from eating McDonalds, but going with Grandma to eat at McDonalds. She would take us to get happy meals. Sometimes, she would go to McDonalds, and just buy the toys...or buy a happy meal for herself, and save the toys for us. I remember there was a drawer in her kitchen that always had happy meal toys in it. I always rumaged...i wonder if anyone else did this? She always had a treat for us too. Whether it was Little Debbie Cupcake things, cream soda, Creamscicle bars, cookies, a Grilled Cheese sandwich, or whatever. There was always something.

My Grandpa Mabey passed away when my Dad was 16 or 17...something around that. So i've never known him...except maybe in heaven. Anyway, point being my Grandma remarried and was married to Walt Matern for 30 years. Amazing...really...it's just crazy though because they weren't married in the temple. Just for time. So now that she's gone, it's kind of like...goodbye Walt. Except, i don't think that will happen. He helped my Grandma so much, through so much ish and crap, without him...i don't know honestly how long she would have lasted. She got frustrated at times and threatened separation and what not, but in the end, i know she loved him. And he loved her. I remember about a year ago, when they both fell, and he broke both hips, he was hospitalized. Grandma was ok, but she was alone at home with Janet (Walt's daughter who decided to move in to take care of both of them). I remember we went and picked her up once, and took her to see him. She walked in, and walked to his side and sat down, held his hand and said "i've missed you. How are you. Are you ok? What can i do for you?" My Grandma, who herself was having major health and motor problems, wanted to help him. It was touching, and a side i really never saw between the two of them. I'm thankful for Walt. He helped her so much. I'm sure one day, my Grandpa Mabey will be able to hug him, and thank him for watching out for her and My Dad as well. (My Dad grew up partially with Walt in the home)

Well I think this does more justice to my Grandma. I can't think of anything else specific to say about her. Writing this has made me slightly emotional. I just know that she loved our family, she raved about the kids, the grand kids and all that we were to her. I know there were some familiy members who may have clashed with her at times, myself included. But we knew how much she loved us, and I know how much we loved her. We will miss her. We miss you already Grandma.

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