Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Reflections

I think I may have mentioned this before, but this year has changed me a lot. I am a very different person than i was this time last year. I will probably write about all this in more detail later on, but for now this will suffice.

1. I have a career goal. For the first time since before i started college and was just excited to get back into school, i actually feel excited to start the upcoming semester. I no longer feel it is going to be a waste of time as i have for the past year or so. It's a good feeling having at least some kind of direction.

2. 22 1/2 years i hadn't ever kissed a girl, and in one year I have kissed 3. I wouldn't say I've been a player because each of the 3 girls i've kissed, have been special and meaningful. Along these same lines, having been in relationships i have learned a lot about myself. Mainly self confidence and appreciation for good quality people.

3. My Grandmother passed away on June 9th of this year. I know that people die everyday, but it was really the first time anyone actually close to me, that I've known my whole life, has passed on. I guess the main reason this has changed me is just because it's really made me realize how precious life is, and that I should spend my time better. I probably don't even listen to my own words and advice as much as i should, but that's the truth. I wish i could have spent more time with her before she left us, but I know she is happier where she is and she is watching over me.

4. Weddings. I have had so many friends get married this past year, including two of my best friends. This hasn't made me WANT to get married, but it's something I know needs to be thought about and is in my upcoming future. I really cannot even imagine being married soon or even engaged for that matter, but if it were to come along I'm pretty sure I would welcome it.

5. Spiritual wellness. I am not where i want to be, and I know I need to improve. I love my current calling in my ward, and the opportunity i have to work side by side with my Bishop. I've kind of slacked off a little bit, but i think it has a lot to do with the end of this semester. I love my Bishop though, he's amazing and such an understanding man. Sometimes i really wonder what it would be like not being a member of the church. As hard as it is to live up to some of the standards, I know it's the best thing I can do for myself.

6. Music. My appreciation has grown. I am actually writing my own songs, playing in different tunings, learning the piano (and loving it), and just appreciating it more than i ever did before.

7-10: An overall appreciation for life. I've tried to be happier, tried to be more positive, learned more about myself in this year than I ever thought possible. It's kinda crazy just to think of how much I've been through in my life, and then this year happens. It's kinda awesome honestly. I remember a lesson Rhett Gagon gave in my sisters ward about trying to live life more like Christ, to try and think daily how to be more like him in any small way. I think that if everyone tried to do that, the world would be a better place. No, I KNOW it would be a better place. Even if you don't believe in Jesus Christ as our Savior, still just following his example and the way he lived his life when he was here, would resolve so many conflicts. Plus during this time of year, people are generally nicer and more giving. If we could just keep that attitude the rest of the year.


I applied for a new job. I should find out soon if i got it....I'd be quite excited if I do.

1 comment:

kwistin said...

I like this, Jeff; thanks for sharing. It makes me want to reflect on how much I've grown in the past year, beyond the broad spectrum. These you mentioned are all very specific--I think it's good to stop every once in a while and remember the specifics. And what better time to do it than right before Christmas!