Questions to Ponder

"Goals: There is no end to the amount of things you can accomplish"

Sometimes I wonder things. I wonder things like "Is this actually where I want to be?" "What if I had made a different choice 10 years ago?" "What If i was born in Rhode Island?"

I know that many things that happen to us are not in our control. We are born where we are because our parents conceived us and my belief is that we are put into the families we are because we chose them. I can't imagine living in a different family, being raised by different parents, having different siblings or none at all, not having the friends I do.

I also wonder things like when People I have been interested in get married "Was she one that got away?" When a friend who I thought would be a friend forever doesn't want anything to do with me, "Was this my fault?" When I see close friends of mine going through a rough time OR "getting" everything they could have ever wanted and I think "Why do they have to go through that" or "Why are they so fortunate?"

There are things in my life I want. There are desires I feel I will never achieve. I had an interesting conversation with Adam last night about progression. I have felt stale for the past 2 years, maybe less but probably more, like I'm going no where. But really, it's no one's fault but my own. My own disbelief in myself, in my abilities, in my talents, is the cause of me not progressing. We as human beings have the power to change our own circumstances. That is the most beautiful gift God has given us: Agency, the ability to choose for ourselves what we want to do, what we want from life, where we want to go. As I'm writing this it almost makes me depressed realizing my own faults and weaknesses are preventing me from getting where I want. However, it also gives me some comfort knowing I can change. I really can. It's up to me, no one else. If I REALLY want to be a doctor, and/or work in the medical field, all it would take is extra work, more schooling, and superior dedication.

There's that whole quote about Abraham Lincoln, how he failed so many times at so many things, but eventually was able to achieve a goal and is still recognized as one of they key leaders in American History. Imagine if he had given up after his last failure, before achieving his first victory, where would America be today? Would someone else have done the same thing? It's possible, but the good thing is he DID try again and he DID achieve greatness.

I started a new goal, well re-started, on March 1st. It's simple: No drinking soda. I don't know why I feel it's so important, but it really isn't that hard. If i can do something as simple as that, I know I can put my mind to other things. This week, the week of March 7th, 2010, I am going to go and talk to the Pre-Med advisors and see what they suggest I do to achieve the dream I have. Dreaming is only helpful if you go after your greatest desire.