no. nuh uh. nada.

Life=Not fun. At least not right now.

Obama: New President: Good or bad?

OBAMA WON.....That's cool. That's all I have to say about that.

A lot of people have gotten mad at me for this, however, this is my case:

I did not vote.

Explanation:

A. I never registered. I COULD have, yes i know, AND i had a chance to when i renewed my license But, I did that too late. I guess that's what you get for procrastinating. That's what I do Best.

B. I didn't know hardly anything about anything. I just knew the names, the parties, and nothing than that. So sue me for not being political. The way i see it, voting is actually a pretty big deal. So when something is a big deal, I usually like to know really well the decision i am making. In this case, voting, i would want to know as much as i can from both sides (preferably unbiased....and living in Utah, that's pretty tough to get) before i make a decision on who I'm going to be voting for.

C. Would my vote REALLY have mattered? Utah would have gone Republican, which it did, so even if I had voted, and honestly probably would have gone with Obama, then it wouldn't have made that much difference.

I realize these reasons probably aren't the best. I also realize it's my duty as an American Citizen to vote, however I also have a freedom to NOT vote, and to NOT express my opinion. I chose to exercise the latter. In the future, i may try tuning in more thoroughly in the politics, but that's not for another 4 years. A lot of people think "oh no, the end of the world is coming!!" But really, I personally think and feel Obama won't lead the country astray. It will be an interesting 4 years.

A Sunday Evening Post

Basically I'm bored. That's what it comes down to. Ok, it's also a new Month and i see the last post i made was exactly a month ago today. So i guess a substantial amount of things have happened since then, so i believe an update is due.

Update: Nothing new has happened. There done....now what...

It's been over a month since things with Camille ended. We still talk every now and then, i still miss her when the small things come up, but I'm learning to move on. I never knew break ups could be so hard. But i am grateful for the things i have learned from everything i've experienced over the past month. I've learned a lot about myself, and what i want (at least in the dating/relationship field), and where i need to be.

Living in a highly dense and saturated mormon city, it feels like the pressure to get married and be the perfect family is always surrounding me. But honestly, i don't let it affect me. I know I am in control of my life currently, and I have the means to do what i need to, and to progress (even though i feel like it's been a year since any progression has happened), and do better in departments where I am lacking. Ok this is making no sense. Basically what it comes down to, I am gaining an ability to blow off pressure and people telling me to do something I'm not ready to do. I want to figure my life out for me and for what i want, not what other people think is best for me. I have felt a strong sense of "depression" over the last few months, or maybe even the past year, but I think it's time to get out of that. I don't know how i'm going to get out of that, bu it's going to happen. I am feeling good about a new major, a new direction, and I just want to start fresh on something new.

I am going to abandon Spanish and PDBio altogether, and go with a new direction. In my student development class, we recently went over our Strong Interest Inventory tests. Alot of people speculate how accurate these tests are, however, I feel that if the person answered the questions without thinking about it or answering it how they "wanted" to answer, it's pretty accurate at telling you what you are interested in and where you'd do the best. My top "Theme" is Artistic. I LOVE the arts. Paintings, Art History, Music, Guitar, Anything that has to do with self expression, sincerely fascinate me. However, I know it's not something I would necessarily enjoy doing for a lifetime career. The test told me what I am most interested in, is working the medical field. This i already knew. It also told me I wouldn't necessarily do the best there either. It did however give me some fields i would probably do really well at. One such field I have considered before, and heard mentioned about how amazing it is, and have thought about looking into. Speech Pathology. I don't really know everything that it entails, but i know it's a pretty big field and a needed career as well. A classmate who is in that field, told me about what he knows so far from it. It sounds pretty interesting, and i plan on going to see a counselor tomorrow to talk about it and see the options. I'm pretty excited actually. I'm actualyl excited for something related to school, which makes me happy. It's a first.

As far as school goes now.....I'm not sure where i stand or what to do with my current situation. I have a Spanish test coming up on Wednesday. I haven't been to that class since the last time we had a test....which is very very very bad. I'm not sure what i'm going to do. I just found out last night that i missed a D&C test. I emailed my teacher begging for Mercy, but i'm not sure to what avail since i miss that class farely alot as well. All i know is this: Starting tomorrow November 3rd, 2008, I will miss no more classes if at all possible. I know i have to go to do well, and i want to do well. I really do. I just gotta do it.

A good friend told me once, "Action precedes Motivation." And boy is that true. I just have to figure out how to have motivation to take action to have motivation to do the thing i haven't been doing. It's like a circle or chain. One thing leads to another....

Last night i went and saw Maple Grove play. Mallory Davis is the keyboard player, and has been a good friend of mine for quite a while now. They are pretty awesome.

The Rays made it to the World Series, only to lose 4 games to 1. How dissapointing. How come the team i cheer for can't ever actualyl WIN the championship? Sucks bad. Even BYU isn't doing that well anymore. They BARELY beat CSU...they should have annihalted them. Hopeully the Jazz can do it this year, if anyone deserves it or needs it, they do. GO JAZZ!!

I am good. I think. I think i need to tell myself i am good, and i will be good. Thanks to everyone who keeps in touch with me and cares enough about me to worry about what i'm going through. I've just been going through a semi weird, kind of rough, hard, and confusing time in my life recently. I'm sorry if i've been bugged or annoyed or snippy. I'm just trying to figure my life out, and there are many people that are great and so supportive. I wouldn't make it without you. Thanks.

This Life i Live

This Life. Wow...what a fun time huh? It is currently 2:11 am. I am awake, when my eyes tell me they are sleepy and want to rest, but my brain and soul cannot rest. How can things seem to be so perfect one moment, and then shatter to the ground in the blink of a tired eye. I can't understand everything, I don't expect to, especially when nothing makes any sense. All that i do know, is I honestly feel OK with things. I don't know what that means, but I guess it's not bad. I only know I've become closer to Camille than i have ever been with anyone else, and I really hope she can figure things out. I know we all cross paths with people in our lives for a certain reason. I am pretty sure I know the reason, or one of the reasons Camille and I have crossed paths, and i will take those lessons into my life and hopefully will be able to apply them, and be better because of her. I randomly wrote a poem about how i feel right now. Unusual, since i don't usually write poems. I guess new experiences bring new things to the board. Who knows, i may even make it into a song.

Aren't God's Creations awesome?










Isn't he the cutest thing you've ever seen?

Mishna.

This life.
This life i live.
This life we live.
Living and loving, that's what it's about.
How we do it, depends on us.
The choices, decisions, and paths we choose to follow.
The people we meet, friends we make.
Those we fall in love with, those who break our hearts,
Those who know us best
It is not all for nothing.
There is a purpose.
A purpose i do not fully know.
Knowing this is all i care about right now.
This life we live
This life I live
This life.

Re-Route please?

Well here i am at work. Unusual? Probably not, considering i am here everyday. Today is the 24th of the month. I know it's September, but that's really beside the point. Today at work I will be flooded with calls from people asking "My order has a shipping date of the 24th, can I please stop or cancel the order?" OK, first of all the orders print off at like 5 am. Once the order is printed, there is really almost nothing we can do. It's not like I can walk over to the warehouse, and find their order, unbox it, tear up the order form, and process the refund. It IS possible, but 100% not feasible. There are literally thousands of orders printed off everyday, and on the 24th and 25th, even more. Even more, you have TWENTY THREE days to call and stop your order from shipping. It's really not that hard. If your order has already been sent out, i can't even call UPS to send it back to us for at least 2 days. THEN sometimes they won't even let me. It'd be better if everyone just got with the program, and watched your own back. That'd be nice. Now for the real reason I'm writing this entry today.

To know where i am coming from, it might be best for you to read a former entry, Changing Gears. When i decided to drop my classes that semester, long ago, i felt like that was the right thing to do at that time. I don't know why. It just felt like the right thing to do. As far as right now, I feel more committed to school, more committed to my life and what i want it to be. I'm still not 100% sure where my life will lead, or where I will be going with all this, but I feel like PDBio is still the right direction. I am retaking Chemistry 105 this semester, the class i had such a hard time and struggled with exactly a year ago. I'm already feeling like I understand it better, I'm getting a better grasp on it, and I'll be able to get through it better than a D-. If i get a C, that's fine with me. I'm aiming for a B. I know an A is pretty much impossible since the after grade in the class is a C, and that hasn't ever really changed. I know there are people in the class that do get A's, but heck there are people that get 4.0's graduating in Law. Yes, there are geniuses on this earth. Desafortunadamente, I'm not one of them, and I'm honestly ok with that. We are all given different gifts and talents, and being a genius is not one of mine. I'm smart enough, however, to get through Chemistry and through my current standing major. I love the idea of helping people improve their lives, and giving of myself and time. I probably won't end up going to medical school, or even be a doctor. But as someone very close to me right now has really made me realize, there ARE other options besides being a doctor. I want to succeed. I want to have a plan. I feel like after the last hour of the morning, i feel like i have a plan again.

I don't know where this is all coming from, but I have a pretty good idea. I've had so many, i guess you could call them "signs" that i CAN do Chemistry. We got a new roommate named Ryan, and what is his career plan? To study a language and go pre-med. He's in Chem 105 right now, and works in a doctor's office and is looking into maybe getting me a job there. Sunday at church, I was doing interviews with my Bishop, well being there while he did interviews, and met a girl named Jennifer. What does she do? Why she works in the Chemistry Department at BYU. She has office hours that no one comes in to, AND she has the EXACT same bday as me...10/04/1984. (yes my birthday is in a week and a half...i accept anything. Cash is nice too. You can make checks out to Jeff Mabey. Thanks) Anyway, i feel like I'm being directed right now, and being offered all the help i can get, and i need to take advantage of that. I just know all i need to do is figure out how to do well in school....and in life. That's what it's all about right? Summing it up, I'm re-routing gears. Back to the old. We'll see....

I'm currently taking a Student Development class entitled, Life Planning and Decision Making. I don't know why I didn't get into it before. We really haven't delved much into making big decisions, but the small things we've done and the things we have talked about, have made sense and made me think alot about my future and decisions i need to make. Even though BYU is a tough school, and sometimes i feel like I'm not cut out to be here, I really do like going to school at a great University. Oh and our Football team is doing awesome too. Never hurt anyone :)

Some cosas...Ok just some random stufff!!

It's Sunday night, and the moon is bright....well not yet actually, since it's not even 8:00 yet when I'm starting this. But who cares.

I have decided that there are some things that irk me, yes I-R-K, and I'd like to share them with the world. I could try and put these in some kind of order, and i might have to do that after i get them all down and commented on. We will see.

My List of Things that I-R-K the crap out me

1. Folding Laundry. Seriously. I can guarantee that there is not one person on this planet that actually enjoys folding their own clothes after getting them out of the dryer. How many teenagers have rooms that look like a shop vac full of clothes finally overloaded and exploded leaving clothes everywhere. If it wasn't so...unattractive...to have a neat and tidy room, I'm sure i would have jeans hanging from my light in my room, shirts gone missing, and socks being carried away by rats. OK my room doesn't have a rat infestation, that i know of...perhaps i should invest in some Mouse/Rat traps just to be sure. Actually, i kind of have always wanted a pet Rat. I hear they make great little friends....just not to kids. Good thing i don't have kids
2. Celery. Enough said.
3. Pickles. Whoever thought about taking a vegetable, Cucumber, and soaking it in raw evil...OK Vinegar isn't really evil, but I'm sure it's available in Hell....is one messed up person. People tell me "oh you have to try this kind of pickle. It's better than this other kind" OK...think about this. If i go out and eat a rock and it's gross, do you really think a different kind of Rock is going to taste better? Highly unlikely. A pickle is a pickle, and Pickles are disgusting. Even the word makes me wanna hurl. A world without pickles, would be a better world indeed.
4. People who ride your tail while driving, when the person in front of you is going slow and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it because everyone on either side is going the same speed. I hate it so bad. If you get on my tail, at all even if we are the only two cars on the road for 1000 miles, i will slow down to below 10 of the speed limit. You can pass me when you have the chance, and for all i care flip me off. I will just wave and smile as if i did nothing wrong. Because i didn't. However i am guilty for speeding myself. I do find it interesting though when I'm going 80 on the freeway, the speed limit is 65, and there are people flying past me. No wonder I've never had a speeding ticket. THAT'S what speeding is. Oh and back to my original thought....I CAN'T do anything. SO GET OFF MY BUMPER!!!
5. Thongs. OK....as a guy i feel i am entitled to this. The Thong, i suppose one could say is just underwear. Which is true. And as I'm sure MOST any guy would agree, CAN BE attractive. HOWEVER, there are certain circumstances and places it's just not right. For example: When you are at a church activity, and you are wearing a dress made of thin black material, and the sun is shining and shines right through it, thus illuminating for all the world to see. Some things just need to be kept private from the whole world. Sure for a husband, fiance, or perhaps even a boyfriend i suppose one could say wearing thongs is attractive. Along those same lines, we don't need to see it when you bend over. Usually it's pretty obvious...OK not all the time, but usually one can tell....we just don't need to see it to be sure. This is my matter of opinion, nothing more :) If you have the body to wear one, or don't and still choose to....well that's your decision. But as far as I'm concerned, we don't need to see it! I guess on the flip side, Granny Panties aren't any better either. Unless of course you're a granny. Then it's OK. And hot.
   
6. Ignorance. Mainly this comes from my being a member of the LDS Church. It really doesn't bother me as much as it's just annoying. Before assuming something, or saying something, make sure you go to the source first. I don't go into a McDonald's and ask "How much fat does a Nacho Cheese Chalupa have in it?" Then go on the corner of the street by a taco bell with a sign that says "Chalupas have 9,000 grams of fat. It will lead you to death and destruction." Go to the source, find out the truth and facts before you make any judgments. *note to reader. I actually do enjoy a Nacho Cheese Chalupa every once in a while.
7. Straws-I suppose one could argue this invention revolutionized drinking from a paper cup. However, i feel it is much more refreshing drinking directly from the glass. You can feel the ice on your lips, feel the liquid rush past your teeth, and overall it's a better experience. I suppose it DOES facilitate drinking if you only like a little bit at a time, or you have a mouth that only opens 2 cm, or you are handicap and need a straw. Those are about the only exceptions i can think of. I guess if you like straws, you can have mine. Down with straws!!
8. People who haven't seen the Goonies. Again, enough said. If you are reading this and haven't seen it. Call me right now and we will watch it. Thank you.
9. Blog entries that don't save the font like i want it to. I only say this because the stupid font keeps reverting back to the small font from my "Note to reader." I don't understand it, and would like some help on figuring out on how to make it work right. That'd be great. Thanks.
   

Well that's all I can think of right now. Currently I have a pile of clothes on my bed, thus inspiring this blog entry. I know it really isn't too exciting and i do apologize for that. Oh well. Get over it. Or just live your life and be better at it OK?

This is my Take

Well People...it seems things didn't work out with Allison. I know some of my previous posts may have alluded to me saying she really was the chosen one, but let me give my philosophy on this. Is there really a soul mate for everyone? I don't believe so. Even an Apostle, i can't remember who, said that any two members of the church that uphold the standards and morals, could work well together and be a happy eternal couple/family. Now of course by no means am i saying that ANYONE would be perfect for me...since there are personalities that clash, and some things just can't be worked out. As far as Allison goes, here's my take.

I met Allison during a time in my life when i was really kind of starting to feel like nothing good would come to me. She came to me, and it was amazing. Every moment i spent with her, was just amazing and i didn't have any worries in the world. Of course most people would say "you're crazy for letting her go," but as happy as i was, i just didn't feel like it was going to be a permanent thing. I don't know why. I can't explain it. And to this day, i cannot for the life of me begin to understand why things have worked out the way they did. I heard a quote, or something, that talked about how people come into your lives during a "season" for different reasons. (no rhyme intended) Do i truly believe that it was meant to be for us to meet. Yes. Absolutely. I learned many many things from Allison. One of them: The feeling of truly being loved, and to feel a love for someone "unico" (only...solely...). I know that in the future, I will be able to tell the difference between a "crush" and love, whereas I wouldn't have been able to before. Another thing, and although this is more on the physical side, I finally got my first kiss. AND for the record, it WAS amazing, and i DO NOT regret kissing her one bit. I was fortunate enough to be one of the lucky few people in this world who didn't have a "Wasted first kiss." I truly felt it meant something. It did mean something. She is an amazing kisser, and i truly do envy the guy that ends up with her. One other thing i really really learned was more of many things...i just learned what i want in my future wife. I know the qualities i will look for, and the qualities i need to have in my life. I know what i deserve now. I deserve someone like Allison. Someone that will love me unconditionally for who i am and what i stand for. Someone that loves our Heavenly Father as much as i do.

So my question to myself, and to any of you out there reading this: Why not Allison? You didn't give it enough time! Well sometimes time is just not needed to know. We could date for 2 years and i could feel the same way the whole time, and it would have been 2 years when either one of us could have found our future spouse. Like i said, i cannot answer this question. From the first time i had this "Doubt" i have not understood it at all. It doesn't make sense. But i do know how i feel, and how i've felt, and what i need in my life currently. I do not want to lose her of course, but it seems it was the best option for me, for us, to move on with our lives. I've never really "abandoned" someone before that i have liked, or had a thing with, or dated. I've normally stayed friends with them...well until now. And i'm hoping to do the same with her. I think we may need some time apart and such to get over it, but i know we can be good friends, even though it is not something she is used to. :)

Will i find someone exactly like her? I hope not, since no two people are exactly alike. Will i find someone who will hate to say good bye to me at 3 am? Maybe not. Will i find someone who can and will love me like she does/has? I sure hope so. I am sad, but i am happy too because i know things will work out for the best for both of us. She is an amazing person, and deserves someone amazing and will get it in her life. People come into our lives for a season, for a time, for a reason. For what that is, only we can know. I know why she came into my life, and no one can take that away from me. I will always cherish and hold close the experiences i shared with her.

So now that this stage of my life is over, for now, i'm not sure what will happen. Of course i will go on dating other girls. But i think now, i might have more confidence where as i may not have had much before. Yet another reason. Thanks to all of you who have cared, and shown interest in my well being. I find that more people read, or at least hear about my blog, than i may have previously thought. THANKS! And again, i'm just trying to go about my life and be good at it. Doing the best i can. Doing the best i know how!

Allison Kaye Parker

Whoa what? A girls name for the TITLE of a blog entry? What does this mean? Well i don't know, i guess titles to blogs usually tell what they are about right? Well i guess you have your answer then.

In today's ever changing world, there are so many ways people meet people. Through school, church, extracurricular activities, being social, clubbing (one thing I've never been into but I'm sure some people get into), and a plethora of other ways as well. Among that plethora, there is something called online dating. Many people do it, many people don't, many people love it, many people hate it. The fact of the matter is, it's really not much different than going to a club by yourself, where you don't know anyone, and meet a new friend, a boyfriend/girlfriend, or just an acquaintance. In all honesty, i never thought i would be one to go online looking for someone to date. But seeing how anyone I've ever dated before hasn't been up to the standards i set, or for whatever reason....look, simply said: Dating is annoying and sucks no matter how you look at it. That is until you find a special person, and you're whole world turns around and makes you wonder why it was so hard to find this person.

As Defined by Dictionary.com:
Soul Mate: 1. A person with whom one has a strong affinity;2. One of two persons compatible with each other in disposition, point of view, or sensitivity.

Lets dive deeper ok?

Affinity:

1.	a natural liking for or attraction to a person, thing, idea, etc.

2.	a person, thing, idea, etc., for which such a natural liking or attraction is felt.

3.	relationship by marriage or by ties other than those of blood (distinguished from consanguinity).

4.	inherent likeness or agreement; close resemblance or connection.

5.	Biology. the phylogenetic relationship between two organisms or groups of organisms resulting in a resemblance in general plan or structure, or in the essential structural parts.

6.	Chemistry. the force by which atoms are held together in chemical compounds.

1 and 2 are basically the same thing. Basically, an affinity is an attraction for whatever reason. Usually a natural feeling, or reason
3 is more of a bigger perspective view. In the dating world, of course it generally leads to marriage. Of course not in all cases, but if 2 people have an affinity, why not get married right?
4 is pretty interesting. Inherent Likeness or agreement. Lets dive deeper!!
Inherent-existing in someone or something as a permanent and inseparable element, quality, or attribute.
A PERMANENT and INSEPARABLE "Something." Something that doesn't go away. Something that stays with anything forever. For example, Females Inherently conceive children and give birth. A male cannot by any REAL means give birth. Ok you could probably argue "What about hermaphrodites born with both parts?" Or "Haven't you seen the movie Junior?" Both arguable points, but in any natural, normal, selection it is impossible for a male to conceive a child, carry a fetus, and give birth. Ok...so I'm off on a tangent, back to the main issue.
5 is rather fascinating don't you think? Who would have thought you could get down to a biological stance when talking about a soul mate. But i guess it makes sense, since the world basically thrives on the idea of things living together in a given place and/or time, with pro-creation and, the circle of life. I could go into what Phylogenetic means, but i really don't want to....you want me to? Jeeze...OK
Phylogenetic:the development or evolution of a particular group of organisms.
So basically if you get down to it, Affinity could mean the evolution of organisms living together in a given environment, or whatever you want to call it. Ok I'm done trying to sound smart now.

Basically my point and question is this: Is there such a thing as a soul mate? Well according to our little study and research, a "Soul Mate" could be anyone that shares similar characteristics and traits, where there is a natural attraction or liking to the given person. So seeing how there has been a certain flow to this blog entry, let me get to my main point.

I met a girl online one day a few months ago named Kamee Price. I went out a few times with her, thought things were going well, then for whatever reason she disappeared off the face of the planet. I don't know what her deal is, or what happened. Things were going really well, at least i thought. I suppose she has some growing up and maturing to do, and has some issues in her life she needs taking care of, and probably a variety of other reasons as well. Well since i haven't heard from her basically since i got back from Spain, and even then it was very limited, i ultimately decided to move on and start dating other people again. I hadn't really stopped yet, but as i was interested in her and wanted to see where things would go, i was devoting most of my "dating" time to her to see if things would progress. I rejoined the previous website where i met Kamee to see if i would have any chance at meeting someone again. I really wasn't taking it seriously, and was looking for other people in different social situations i found myself in here in Happy Valley AKA P-town AKA Provo. But guess what, as much as it may surprise you, things just weren't going that well at all. I wasn't down or anything, i just knew it wasn't my time yet and felt like something could come up soon. Well it did.

I met a girl named Allison Kaye Parker on May 9th, 2008. The only reason i know that date is because that's the date i first received what Online Dater call "flirts". Really not a tactic to actually meeting people in my opinion. It's kind of like throwing a fish hook in a lake without bait on it. I mean it's there, and if the fish takes it, awesome. If not, well i guess you get the bait right? Well usually i don't pay attention to flirts just because it's usually people w/ no pictures trying to get a nibble. Well i looked at some i had the day in question, and saw a flirt from Allison. I saw her picture and thought "This can't be right...really." So i looked at her profile and decided to write her a message. I think she responded to the message, but something just really basic. Then i responded back, and never heard from her for a couple days. Then i got online one night, and she was online and available to chat. So, i said hi. (I feel like I'm telling a suspense story...although it's not a suspense story...but it could be!) We started talking, and i don't remember very well, but i think we just talked for a little bit the first night. It's gone flying up hill from there

Basically for the last week and a half of my life, i have discovered a person who i feel truly is, by definition above, a soul mate. We have so much in common. We think alike. We know what the other is going to say before they say it. We feel the same about so many different things, it almost seems surreal. It feels like a fantasy. How is it possible to get to know someone SO well in just such a short period of time, that you literally and honestly feel like you have known them you're entire life, or longer. Anyone that knows me, knows i like to believe things happen for a reason. It doesn't have to be that God set the stone rolling in motion, and made things happen, but simply things happen for a reason and at the given time because if they happened any other time, it wouldn't have the same effect. I have various example from my mission, current situation, school, mission, etc. Whether big or small, things do happen for a reason.

I can't say what's going to happen in the future. I can't see the future. All i know, is that for now, things with Allison are so awesome. We haven't stopped talking since we met. Whether it has been talking online, through texting, and yes people EVEN on the phone, we haven't stopped or had a dull or awkward moment. I feel like i can tell her anything, and i know she feels the same. A really great friend once told me he met his wife, and they became best friends first and then things progressed from there. Right now I have a new best friend. Jake Beuchert is getting married. Mike Bready is getting married. I'm losing 2 best friends. I know I'm really not losing them, but in a way i am. They will be marrying their new best friends and be with them 24/7, loving and cherishing them. It's really been hurting me lately just realizing i will be losing them. I will still see them, but it will be different. Allison is also losing a best friend. Her name is Sarah, and ironically, she is marrying a guy named Jeff. The timing with us meeting was right on, it happened when it did for a reason. Again i can't say I'm going to marry her, of course we have only even KNOWN each other for a week and a half. We haven't even met yet for crying out loud (That will be happening on Monday May 26th, 2008. Thank goodness for holidays...) Even though i feel like i know everything about her, i know i have barely scratched the surface of who she is. I'm so excited to meet her, and get to know her on a different level. Hey, maybe things won't work out in the long run. But for now, they are awesome and I haven't been this happy in such a long time, maybe ever. So keep your eyes peeled for more updates on the Allison Kaye situation :)

PS. I know i need to get another blog entry up on Spain, I've just been SO busy with school and work and life, i just haven't had time. In fact I'm putting off homework right now to write this. But this couldn't wait, since many of you have asked me recently about my dating situation, i had to share it.

In the Air? Sera?

What could be in the air? Oxygen? Pollen? Rain? Snow? How about....Love....maybe...possibly? Well it sure seems like it!!

Basically, everyone is getting married. It seems like it's the time of year, or THE year to do it. Who knows, maybe it's both. Maybe i should jump on the bandwagon...yeah right. I really don't have a problem with people getting married, but when it' SO many people that i know...it just kind of gets boring and old and annoying to hear about. Especially when they are quick marriages....even though my sister was in one of those until the guy basically didn't have the guts to go through with it and broke it off....but they are still dating. I dunno...i guess it's her life, but i think personally she needs to move on. But i support her either way, cuz i love her and i want her to be happy.

Just to name the ones off that i can think of:

Mike Bready & Cami Clay-August 15th New York Temple (not sure which one)
Jake Beuchert & Mindy-August 23rd Salt Lake City Temple
Ace Stryker & Lacy-August 2nd....i think Manti temple?
Matt Harris (from work) August 16th Washington DC Temple...i think
Jarrod Cain from work...not sure when or who to, but he is getting married
Ian & Rebecca (from the ward) Sometime in June
Rikki and Kevin (Cami Clay's roommate)-again not 100% sure when or where
Liesel Nielson....haven't talked to her in forever, but sometime this summer
........that's all i can think of for now. I know i know of more but i don't really care to put them. Just to make my point, i know of 8 weddings alone....just for this summer. I'm pretty sure at least 4 or 5 of them are in August....i will be attending probably just the top 3 since they are the closest friends. Heck i'll be in the line for the second one, just because he's basically a best friend since forever and wouldn't have it any other way.

So why am i going off on this? Do i wish i was engaged too? No. Not really. In fact, i don't think i'm anywhere near ready to be married. However, i would like to see my life maybe start going in that direction. But right now i'm just kind of trying to really find out who i am and what the heck my deal is with some aspects. WHAT do i want to do with my life...you know? I' m really happy for all the people that are getting married. That's great for them. If it's right for them in their life, that's awesome. I never imagined Mike and Cami would ACTUALLY REALLY be getting married (since apparently no one believes Cami :) ) But it is way awesome and i'm glad to support them.

As far as my life goes in that department, i'm working on it. Kamee and I went out again on this past Tuesday. I drove up to Brigham City (yes i know i am crazy) and went to hang out for a little bit with her before we went on our date. I wanted to be there when she got off work, but it turned out she had to go to the bank to get a loan for her car, so she wasn't available to hang out til around 4. I got there around 3:30ish. I just met two of her sisters, nephews, and dog. Then we went and got her Mom a drink to take to her work. I met her Mom. Then we went on a shopping spree...looking spree...to see if we could find some alligator binoculars....the reason for this....well at Disney on Ice (read here) We saw some kids that had them...obviously purchased at the event, probably for a ridiculous price. I'm sure they didn't work worth crap, but we have wanted to find some ever since...just cuz they are cool...i mean they are alligator binoculars....what's cooler than that? Anyway, in the end we didn't find them...and honestly i don't think either one of us expected to find them. We just got some from her house and took off. We decided to drive her car down to the game since i had just driven up from Provo and it just kind of made sense. Plus i could just come back after and hang out for a while. We went to Applebee's in Layton....and it was pretty cool cuz Kamee said she would pay for dinner. So this date, was kind of a joint date thing....i'm not sure what that means, if it means anything, but it was good. She's pretty much amazing. We continued and went to the Jazz game. We got there, and parked, and walked a bit. Luckily it was a nice night out, so it wasn't terribly cold. We get into the game, and go up to the upper bowl (i had tried to get tickets off of eBay for cheap, lower bowl...but it didn't happen, so i had to buy some upper bowl tickets.) ANYWAY...so we get up to our seats, and i look at the row and think "oh crap." There is a guy, and like 8 kids in the row where we were supposed to be sitting. I say "Umm i think you are in our seats." He just looks up at me and shakes his head with a sly little evil, stupid jerk, smile on his face and goes back to the game...i'm like.."yeah you are, let me look...yep you are." I get the same response and just decided it wasn't worth it to fight a guy that has 8 little kids with him for two seats. We find some seats the next row up and across the aisle and sat down. The Jazz won, the game was fun, and we had fun too. We got churros and powerade...w/out a lid...(I guess it's a stadium regulation they have to take off the lids so people can't throw lids at the players? But...if i'm going to throw something, might as well be more than a lid...like an opened, topless bottle of liquid....someone really didn't think this through)...We left the game early, 3 minutes, and walked back to the car. She was way tired, so i drove her car home for us. We got to her house and i met another sister, her brother, and her mom more formerly. Basically we all just sat there while they asked me a billion questions. But i didn't mind because i'm friendly like that and i was just happy to be there at the moment. I decided it was time for me to leave around 11:15 just cus i had to drive back to Provo to work the next day at 7 am....not smart....but you know what? It was worth it. Sometimes extra effort and sacrifice are needed to make things worth while. We are planning on getting together soon again, i hope sooner than later cuz it's hard not being able to hang out with someone that you have some interest in....but i think the distance thing just makes the chances we DO get together, that much better.

Lastly for now....and i have a whole other post i need to write about and put pictures on from our party last Friday...but i have a new/old friend. New and old. Britnie Richards. If any Beuchert is reading this, they will know who she is. Randomly she found me on facebook. She came to the party last week, and basically we have been texting and talking a ton lately.....becoming really good friends. She's pretty awesome. She's pretty much fully involved with somethings in my life right now....kind of awesome how things just pop up. I mean....only one person knew that i kind of needed a really extra good special friend right now in my life, and that person seemed to lead her into it. I know he is always watching out for me. Elder Eyring said once in a talk "God is always watching out for you and taking care of you." It's true. He does. He knows what i need, and why i need it, and whether or not it would be good for me to have it when asked for....just like a Father....amazing how that works! :)

Well my friends, this ends tonight's post. I have to work tomorrow...Saturday...from 8-5. Basically it sucks. But that's life. I hope this post has helped you all understand a little bit more how to live life and be good at it.

Stupid Questions with Granola Bars for Breakfast.

Saturday. A wonderful day. A break from the busy week, the one day when we should be able to relax and have a day to ourselves. Not for me, and why? I'm at work.

I know i've complained about working on Saturdays before, but honestly who can like working on a saturday. You know, i've been thinking, maybe i should get a job somewhere where i actually don't get annoyed at every actual working moment. At my current job i answer phone calls from people who want to place orders, or sign up accounts, or do other random things. The majority of the calls i get are from people complaining that we charged their credit card without them authorizing it, which is BS. Most of those calls consist of "well i told the person that ordered these vitamins for me that i wanted to try them once and then i would decided if i want them after." So the question comes up "did you give them your CC #?" You know, if it were me, i would say "What is the # so I CAN call and place the order." The problem is, in this world, most people are way to trusting and/or lazy to do things themselves or make sure what they want is actually done. Example: I had a lady call in just awhile ago that had an ADR (Automatic Delivery Rewards) order, which by far is the absolute best way to buy Expensive Nuskin products. The A in ADR stands for, as previously noted, AUTOMATIC. Well, this lady who i'm sure is a wonderful person and has many great qualities, called in pissed off at the company, and more specifically at me since i was the fortunate lucky soul to take her call, because she had gotten an order when she said she had cancled her ADR online. A) This is not possible. The company has made it impossible to cancel the order online, since we control alot of the benefits of the order they have to call in to cancel it, which is fine because that's what we're here for. So the lady calls in angry that her order wasn't actually canceled and wants an INSTANT refund, which we ALL know never happens from ANY company, EVER. I tell her this and she says she's paying overdraft fees on her checking account. Our problem? No. She goes on to tell me that there is nothing online saying she has to call in to cancel her ADR (something i told her, one of the many facts that she was angry with me about). B) Also not true. I went online and found, in the FAQ's (Frequently Asked Questions for those illiterate in online lingo) and found that it actually DOES say exactly what the lady did, doesn't work. Direct quote from the website:

How do I cancel my ADR order?
To cancel your ADR, you must call 1-800-487-1000. Removing all items from your ADR cart online does not cancel your ADR.

This lady told me she removed everything from her cart, thinking that it would delete her order since she had nothing in her cart. If it were me, and i told her this and she took offense to it thinking i was saying she didn't know what she was doing (which was true), if it were me and i wanted to cancel an order. Regardless of what i THOUGHT i could or couldn't do online, i would still call in to make sure it was canceled. She also told me she didn't think we should expect her to look all over the website for information about cancelling her order. It was really only like 3 clicks to find out about cancelling her order. Anyway, in the end, i gave her a full refund and told her to send it back and she proceeded to tell me i am a horrible representative of Nuskin. I've worked at Nuskin almost 2 years now, and that was the FIRST time i've EVER been told that i was a bad representative. In fact, i've been told so many times that i was such a pleasure to talk to, her insult was hardly a dent in my reputation.

It really annoys me that some people in this world can't take responsbility for something they've done. Everyone messes up, no one is perfect, and no one ever will be. If everyone really would learn to take responsibility for their own errors and mistakes, the world would be at least 50% better. There would be less hate crimes, less arrogance, less pride, less world wide anger. Maybe not so much, but i'm pretty sure the world WOULD improve some. Isn't that what we're all fighting for? A better world? A better life? Shouldn't we all at least have SOME desire to improve the world. It's like Jesus once said, "remove the moat first from your own eye before telling your brother to remove the needle in his eye," or something like that. Point being, is we need to change ourselves first before we can accuse someone else of being imperfect. I was polite to the lady, never raised my voice, and really just stated how it was. People hate hearing the truth. What was i supposed to do, tell her "dont' worry mam, everything will be ok, you're right and we're wrong." I do realize that the "customer is always right," and in this case i told her i understood her frustration, and i was doing what i could to help her out, but she still didn't understand. Now this lady was elderly, and i'm not being discriminatory but at the same time i know that most older people don't fully understand the computer. My own mother, who does understand it for the most part, still sometimes has really basic and easy questions. So the real question is, how CAN we expect them to do things online when it really isn't their thing. So who's right? Who's wrong? There really isn't any way to tell, it's 6's in the air, and maybe it's not right. All i can say is i just wish people WOULD learn How to Live Life and be GOOD at it. It would make my job so much easier, and less stressful as well.

I'm eating Granola bars for Breakfast these days, thank goodness for Costco. Working at 7 AM everyday, it's butt early and really i dont' have time to eat anything. So Granola Bars and Yogurt have been my sustaining for quite some time. Thank you Costco.

Holy Chem-i_freaking_stry Sucks!

You Know. I know you do, because we all do. It's been a year since i've posted anything, AND on top of that, i've only EVER posted ONE thing. I'm not going to take the time to go through my life in the past year, since really nothing has changed. I still live in P-town with the same guys, but we live in a house now. Mike Bready moved in, so that's cool. I do have a major now in my BYU Schooling experience....since i really am getting schooled....my major is PDBio (Physiology and Developmental Biology for those of the not knowing lingo type)...which basically consists of the study of the human body....which by the way is A--MAZING. The only thing that sucks, and you should be able to tell from the title, is the fact i have to take a BUTT load, yeah a WHOLE BUTT load of Chemistry to do it.

Well at the moment i think i'm pretty much giving up on Chemistry. I've never failed a class in my life, but i'm pretty sure i'm going to fail it. I've fail THREE out of THREE tests....so i don't know how i will pass it...even if i do, IF...that's a big if.....then i'm not going to have an adequate understanding to advance on to the next one....in all honesty the question i'm asking is this. IS chemistry REALLY that important to anything. Sure it's nice to know how many moles of this when disolved in that make an immensly small amount of a new this...but I DON'T CARE. I just want to be a doctor, or surgeon...something of value to society. I'm sick of my dead end job. It's not really Dead end, but it pretty much is...in that i've tried to advance here and it hasn't worked...EVER...so how am i supposed to advance in anything if i'm failing in everything?

Life just doens't work like that. I dont' understand it. If anyoen can answer to me why life is such a pain sometimes then please, DO tell...i'd really like to know. I know it wasn't a bed of roses for the savior, and i know that following him really is my ONLY option at this point...but AGAIN how can i get out of this RUT that i am stuck it...so deep in seems in doing all the wrong things. Maybe not ALL the wrong things, but probably a good portion of them...of course i know that just making up my mind to change and be better is where it all starts, bu in all honesty how can i change without changing....that may not make sense, but it does in my mind.

Well i think this is enough ranting for now. I'm going to be writing everyday...or as much as i can. I need this...i feel better after this short venting session. Thank you Internet :)